Ever sat across from a team member and thought, “I have no idea how we got here”?
You’re not alone. And no, you’re not a bad leader. You might just be… missing the signs.
One of my clients is a relationship counsellor, and he once told me something that really stuck with me.
“By the time most couples end up in my office, one of them has already checked out. They’ve tried to fix it, sent up the flares, dropped the hints – but the other person missed the cues. So now, one is in the grieving phase, and the other is just realising it’s even broken.”
Sound familiar? Maybe not in your personal life (hopefully), but definitely in business – because salon relationships break down the same way. Silent simmering. Bottled-up frustration. A few subtle SOS flares ignored. Then one day, someone hands in their notice and you’re left standing there, wondering what just happened.
Let’s talk about how to stop this happening in your team – before it ends in a (work) breakup.
The mindset: communication = care
Running a team isn’t about micromanaging or performance reviews that feel like an awkward parent-teacher interview.
It’s about creating space for genuine connection. And that starts with one-on-one meetings.
Not the “Hey can I grab you for a sec?” chats while someone’s halfway through rinsing colour.
Not the “We should really do a catch-up soon” promises that get lost in the chaos of a busy week.
Actual, regular, sit-down, eyeball-to-eyeball 1:1 meetings that feel safe, empowering, and human.
Here’s the thing: People aren’t out to get you. They’re looking out for themselves — and that’s not selfish, it’s just self-preservation. If something feels off, they’ll instinctively protect their energy. And if they don’t feel seen or heard? They’ll check out emotionally, sometimes long before they hand in that resignation letter.
So let’s ditch the “But I thought everything was fine?” shock, and instead build something more intentional.
Want a guide to make this easier? We’ve created a free 1:1 Meeting Guide to help you lead supportive, brave conversations without it feeling like a performance review from hell.👉 https://www.salonrising.com/1-1-mini-guide
Why 1:1s matter (even more than team meetings)
We’ll definitely be diving into team meetings over the next few months, because they’re still important. But today, we’re zooming in on 1:1s.
Why? Because it’s in these quieter, more personal conversations that the real magic happens.
This is where:
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Feedback lands without an audience.
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Big dreams (and quiet doubts) get voiced.
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You can coach for accountability and compassion.
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You spot burnout, boredom, or brilliance that might go unnoticed in a group setting.
If team meetings are the group chat, 1:1s are the DMs – and we all know the real truth comes out there.
The strategy: How to hold a 1:1 that doesn’t suck
So, how do we make these meetings feel like genuine support, not a ticking time bomb of feedback?
1. Keep it regular, not random
A standing monthly or bi-monthly 1:1 builds rhythm and trust. When meetings are only ever called for “issues,” people start to associate them with drama. Let’s flip that.
2. Lead with curiosity, not critique
Start with open-ended, easy questions:
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“How are you feeling about work at the moment?”
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“Anything you’re loving? Anything draining you?”
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“What do you feel proud of lately?”
This creates a safe space and shows that you care, not just about performance, but about them as a human.
3. Feedback = information, not insult
Be mindful of your tone. Don’t dump a list of what’s gone wrong — share insights, ask questions, and offer support.
And if you’re on the receiving end of feedback? Deep breath. Listen. Don’t take it personally. Think of it as a GPS re-route, not a personal attack.
4. Time sticky chats wisely
If something tricky needs to be raised, try to do it at the end of the day. There’s nothing worse than being asked to reflect on a hard conversation and smash out a back-to-back afternoon of clients.
Respect their emotional bandwidth. Let them decompress.
5. Finish with fuel
Celebrate the small wins. Remind them what they bring to the team. Positive reinforcement isn’t fluff – it’s what keeps people motivated, especially in a high-output, high-emotion industry like ours.
6. Encourage autonomy, not dependence
This isn’t about hand-holding. It’s about guiding your team to take ownership. Ask:
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“What do you think the next step is?”
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“What would help you feel more confident here?”
This encourages self-leadership and accountability, not just obedience.
Regulate yourself first
Let’s be real – giving feedback is uncomfortable. Especially when emotions are high or you’re already stretched thin. But you have to check in with yourself before you check in with your team.
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Are you feeling triggered? Defensive? Exhausted?
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Are you seeking connection… or control?
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Are you clear on your intention, or just needing to offload?
Leading with emotional regulation is the difference between having a brave conversation and starting a blame game. One builds trust. The other breaks it.
Want to go deeper? Listen to this
We’ve actually recorded a podcast episode where we unpack this exact dynamic — when someone leaves and the leader is left spinning, trying to piece together what went wrong.
If you want to hear more real talk (and less sugar-coating), give it a listen here:
👉 https://www.salonrising.com/salon-rising-the-podcast-mane-union
Final thoughts: say it before it festers
Your team isn’t made up of mind readers. If you sense something’s off – say it.
If something’s bothering you – bring it up.
If someone’s doing a great job – tell them.
Don’t stick your head in the sand and hope it passes. That’s how relationships crumble in silence, not in storms.
And if you’re still feeling unsure how to approach it all, remember:
You’ve got the tools. You’ve got the heart. You just need a plan.
Download the free 1:1 Meeting Guide here to start creating better, braver conversations today. 👉 https://www.salonrising.com/1-1-mini-guide